Their secret
by Sandy119
Summary: An idealist seeking a purpose in her life makes for the Conclave, what enables her to join the Inquistion. Then already as an mature woman, thanks to her acuity, she finds out the biggest secret of Solas.
1. Chapter 1 - Resolution

_Note:_ I apologise for any possible mistakes, english is not my first language.

* * *

She was born in a castle close to Denerim. It represented all life she knew. High walls and almost always the same people inside. Servants, troops and of course her parents and one year older brother. This was everything she would see at a first glance. However, one day she realised that it wasn't a satisfying life. Not for her. She perceived the castle's walls as a protection from true living. Since that moment they stopped to be her comfort zone, but a cage, which she decided to do escape as soon as possible and no matter the cost, she would have to pay.

\- Emilia, it can't be that way any longer. - she said once to herself. - I am adult. Why wouldn't I start doing something on my own? It's my life after all... Just, from what should I begin?

After longer deliberation she came to conclusion that the only person she truly could be able to count on in such issue is her brother, Caleb. Since a year he had been a city guardsman and he was quickly climbing the career ladder. For Emilia it was a little unexpected, for as long as she knew him, he was rather skittish and he was hardly ever committed to anything. As it seemed now, the situation was different.

"Good for him. At least one of us make out." Emilia thought one day.

Everybody were happy about his job. Pity that in Emilia's case it wasn't going to happen.

A few days later she came up with a plan, connecting Caleb of course. She realised that even if she would come up with some crazy idea to leave the castle unnoticed, she wasn't completely prepared for such a change of lifestyle. Therefore, she had to get ready, and with Caleb's help it could work out. When she put the pieces of her plan together, suddenly something came to her.

\- The Conclave! - she thought alaud. - If I could get there, that would be everything I need. Ahh... but it won't be easy... Enough! That's your only chance, focus on it and it will happen. It has to.

Hundred of thoughts were going around Emilia's head, but right then she noticed a goal, which was possible to achieve and she motivated herself to put all her effords to it.

"Step by step and it will happen. You will see, you just have to stay patient." she kept telling herself. For this reason, she made a few deep breathes and later, when she noticed Caleb through the window, she got changed and left her chamber.


	2. Chapter 2 - First step

\- Hi sister! - said Caleb, pausing his daily training in the courtyard when he noticed Emilia getting out of the castle.

\- Hi! - she said back smiling.

\- What happened that you aren't going to spend a whole day in your chamber doing nothing again?

\- I'm not doing nothing, you know nothing about that!

\- Really? - he said rising his eyebrows.

\- Yes. - said Emilia and noticing that the conversation is going nowhere, she changed the topic. - Alright, perhaps you can show me something?

\- Me? Since when you are interested in watching me fighting?

\- Not watching, I mean, maybe you can teach me something?

\- Oh, that's surprising, parents wouldn't like that idea. But alright, let's see what you can do.

\- Fine, what am I to do?

\- Firstly, try to take my position.

Emilia did as he said and then Caleb handed her one of his swords and showed her a few useful moves, which they tried out later. She was surprised when she found out that her brother is a very good teacher, in fact she would never thought that he can be so understanding and patient. They were practicing swordplay after all and he had never paid so much attention to her.

\- You're getting on quite well, sister. - said Caleb after two hours of intense training. Though, perhaps we can end here for today.

\- Good idea, I'm worn out. - answered Emilia sighing.

\- I shouldn't ask why you want so much to know how to fight, right?

\- Right, you shouldn't.

\- But it has something to do with your 'idealistic nature', am I right? - said Caleb sarcastically.

\- Oh, yes, you are! - she answered reluctantly.

\- I won't ask you more, but Emilia... - he made a pause wanting his sister to look at him. - be careful.

\- I will be. Mhm... thanks.

After that event they were seeing each other quite often, however, they wanted to avoid their parent's eyes. In this case their meetings weren't long, but Emilia treasured this moments more than anything. This was her rare chance to spent more time with her brother and when he was teaching her using a sword, she couldn't imagine spending time any better.

Couple months later Emilia became quite well-trained, she started even to use two swords and combating with her brother became a sheer enjoyment for her. They were laughing often and feeling good in company of each other. "Fighing with someone as a way to strenghten a relationship? Sounds like a paradox." - she thought once. But this was the truth.

And right then the chance Emilia was looking for since months came into sight. The military personnel of Denerim has been assigned to protect the supply convoy for the upcoming Conclave. And Caleb was supposed to travel with it.

She immediately went to the commanding officer in hope that he will allow her to also go with the convoy. But she quickly realised that it will be much harder to do than she thought. Regardless her strenuous supplications the answer was "no". She sighed, but she didn't want to give up. There was still one option she could use, but she wasn't planning to do it at first. Emilia's last chance was Caleb.

When appropiate moment appeared she braced herself and went to his chamber. She knocked twice.

\- Who is there? - she heard.

\- It's me... Emilia. - she answered hasitantly.

\- Come in.

When she entered Caleb turned around to face her and asked:

\- What's the matter? Everything's fine?

\- Yes... a... no in fact. - she answered trying to find proper words. - I'm here to ask you a favour.

\- Yes? - asked Caleb seeing which way the cat jumps.

\- Can you talk with sir Donnovan... and persuade him to take me with the millitary personnel to the Conclave?

\- What?! Why won't you do it by yourself?

Emilia lowered her head and silenced.

\- Aa, I see. You've already did it and he refused. Of course he refused, how could he do otherwise?

\- Please, Caleb, do it, it's very important for me.

\- No! It's crazy!

Emilia sighed and after a moment she said cooly:

\- I wish to do something meaningful, valuable... And in here I have no opportunities. Going to the Conclave is my biggest chance...

\- Alright, I understand, but couldn't you begin from something... easier?

\- Like what?

\- I don't know. - Caleb answered shrugging his shoulders, but then he silenced shaking his head.

\- You owe me a favour for it, you hear me? - he said a few seconds later with finality.

\- Of course, thank you, thank you so much.

After that he left, leaving his emotionally charged sister alone.

Emilia sat on a chair trying to calm down. But it was impossible. She stood up and began to walk back and forth as time was going mercilessly slow. Finally she streighten up because she heard some approaching footsteps.

At first Caleb didn't say anything. He was just looking at his sister. She was also silent for a moment waiting impatiently, and right when she wanted to hasten him, Caleb lastly spoke up:

\- He agreed. He will asign you to a group with the dirty job and I have to keep an eye on you.

Emilia bursted in happiness and gave him a hug saying:

\- I love you Caleb. Thank you so much.

\- Alright, alright, don't exaggerate. You still owe me a faver, remember?

\- I wouldn't dare to forget.

\- Good, now go back to your room before somebody hear your screaming, you joker.

She grinned to him in answer and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Conclave

Next few days went very quickly in Emilia's eyes. She spent some time with sir Donnovan who told her everything about her brief. But most of her attention was adressed to meetings with Caleb, because finally she got a chance she was looking for and for this reason her motivation became much stronger. Taking advantage of that opportunity was all she was thinking about.

The long awaited day lastly came. The company was about to set out at dawn and when Emilia woke up there was still dark outside. She quickly washed her face and put on clothes. Then she made a bun of her hair and went to the arsenal to take her swords and then the armour. She thought that she will have to constantly reapeat herself to calm down, but unexpectedly she was very focused since she opened her eyes.

Afterwards, she found her brother who was already standing with other soldiers by the castle's gate. A few minutes later the commanding officer appeard. He set everybody on theirs positions and they moved out. Emilia was asigned to a group almost at the end of the company, but it didn't bothered her. Nothing could ruin her good mood today.

The travel was very long and tiring. There were only couple of breaks and all of them were short. And it was just a first day. The journey was about to take four. The comforting thought was that they didn't encounter any troubles during the way. Yet. However, Emilia was trying to think positively. It was supposed to be a journey of her life after all.

And it was, but she would never expect in what way.

The Temple of Sacred Ashes arose before Emilia's eyes over early afternoon of the fourth day. She heard many stories about it, but none could capture it's beauty. Then she realised that she stopped and her mounth is open wide. She quickly moved on, looking around and hoping that nobody saw her reaction.

When the company reached the camp Caleb approached Emilia.

\- I am going with the rest of the squad to the Temple to bring the supplies inside, but you have to stay here with the scouts. - he said.

Emilia didn't like what she heard, but it didn't surprised her. The camp whas the safest place. She sighed quietly knowing that she won't change his mind.

\- Alright, as you wish. - she answered.

\- It was commander's decision not mine, I want you to know that.

\- Good to hear, but it's fine Caleb. I know I am a novice here.

He slightly smiled in answer and left to join his squad.

Though the Conclave had already begun, staying in a camp wasn't such a bad idea.

The diversity of people was overwhelming.

There were still somebody showing up and luckly some of them were eager to talk with Emilia and share information. It was remarkable, so much more than she could expected. The smile wasn't vanishing from her face.

And right then it happend.

Emilia didn't realise what is going on, she just know that some very powerful force threw her a couple of meters far, cousing a painful hit on the ground. She was lying uncounciously for a longer while when world was spinning around her and all she was hearing was a terrible shriek.

A moment later she slowly she swept her eyes and looked around to figure out what is going on.

"What was that? A blust?" she thought.

Then she picked herself up and this is what she saw: the Temple of Sacred Ashes had vanished entirely, there was even no sight of any standing wall. And silence. Everywhere. All around the place. Terrifying. Emilia's hair bristled.

Just then she recalled herself about him.

\- Caleb... - she said noiselessy through tight thoat.

When that information started to reach her she she cried out in pain:

\- Caleb! - and overflown by tears she added - It can't be real!

Later she sat on the ground and plunged into grief. Right then she heard something. It was like a quiet moaning close to her.

Emilia silenced and when she heard the sound clearly she stood up and looked where it was coming from. On her right side where once was a tent she saw a man. A scout as Emilia conjectured. She run to him and then she noticed that he is badly injured in the head. The blast had thrown him at wooden balk which supported the tent. Though it was very hard, Emilia was trying to stay cool and somehow ease the man in pain. She looked arpund and then her eyes alight on a box under one of the tables scattered around the camp. Inside she found one still clear bandage which she immediately grabbed and run back to the hurt scout. When she dressed his wound she realised that it is not enough, that her help is only temporary and he needs medical assistance.

Emilia walk out the camp trying to figure something out. She was at a brink of nervous breakdown because of her brother, but now she understood that there were more important matters then herself. That thought filled her. Then she looked up and right away she knew exactly where she should go. To the Temple. There could be countless people in need. Perhaps even Caleb.


	4. Chapter 4-The woman with a gleaming hand

Emilia rushed down the road, however, it was much longer than she thought. Regardless the panting, she was trying to keep her fast pace. Finally she approached the place, where once the Temple's walls was standing. Before she crossed the former doorstep she looked around. Behind her, half of a mile from her location some soldiers were running.

\- They had to be in their way, when the explosion occured. - she assumed.

Then her focus returned to the wounded.

Emilia closed to the ruins and became alert to any possible move or noise. She went through a longer distance, but there wasn't any. Just bodies. Everywhere. Soldiers, templars, mages, also nuns and a few servants. Emilia was shaking and barely breathing. She decided that she won't look at the faces. The sight of her brother would be something she wouldn't be able to bear.

She moved forward and then she saw something that catched her attention. A light in a distant. It was like a woman silhouette, though Emilia couldn't take a good look at it, because it disappeared quickly. Like a Veil tore for a moment and immediately closed up. Emilia didn't know what she should think about that. "Who could be that figure? Is it possible that it could be Andraste?" she thought surprised.

And then she saw something else. A move and very small, hardly visible light. Emilia quickened her pace to check it out.

\- Maybe there is somebody still alive. - she said to herself with a bit of hope.

When she got closer she found out that it actually was a person. An elven woman in armour, and the light was coming out of her hand. Emilia opened her mounth to say something, but she realised that she had lost her consciousness already. Emila stood up scrachting at her head. Right then she heard heavy footsteps behind her.

\- Who is that? - said unknown man.

Afterwards an other approached and shouted in answer:

\- It'a woman. An elf. And her hand is glowing strangely.

\- What?! That's bullshit. Let me take a look. - said the first man.

And when he stepped closer other soldiers appeared. Sudenly, all of them heard a loud female voice from the behind:

\- Fall out! I have to see it.

Emilia realised that the voice came from a strongly built woman. Her dark hair where cut short and a scar on her face was indicating that she is practised in battle.

\- I am Seeker Cassandra Penthagas. - said the woman. - Who were here first?

When silence descended she spoke up again:

\- Who is the one who found her?

Then Emilia who was holding herself aloof, made a few steps forward and replied:

\- I was me... madame.

\- You? - asked Cassandra rhetoriclly. - Tell me all you know. Was she councious when you saw her for the first time?

\- Yes, but just for a few seconds. I didn't manage to speak with her. In fact I came here just a minute before the soldiers and there is not much I can tell you, madame.

Cassandra frowned and then said to the soldiers:

\- We have to be prepared for every possibility. She could be even the one who caused the blast. Put her in chains. - after that she turned to Emilia. - You are going with me.

Emilia swollowed because she felt a lump in her throat, and then she followed Cassandra.

\- Where were you when the explosion happened? - enquired Cassandra.

\- In one of the camps along the road. - answered Emilia.

\- And what made you come here?

\- I wanted to help the wounded and... find my brother. - added Emilia quitely.

\- Your brother was in the Temple when it had exploded?

\- Yes.

\- I am sorry to hear that.

\- I appreciate it.

\- However, now we have to focus on urgent matters. We have to leave this place and interrogate the suspect before more demons will come.

\- Wait... What demons?!

Then Cassandra looked at her with bewilderment and then raised the head wishing Emilia to follow her sight.

Above them was a huge green rift in a Veil. It was pulsing rhythmically and it seemed that it is growing slowly. Emilia shivered and rapidely inhaled.

\- Don't tell me that you didn't see it before. - said Cassandra observing her reaction.

Emilia shook her head in answer, unable to utter a word.

\- Let's go. We don't have time to waste. - Cassandra brought her on earth.

Emilia quickened her pace and joined Cassandra.

An hour later Cassandra introduced her Leliana, who was heading the archers, and told Emilia that she will be travelling with her since now. Leliana and Cassandra went to speak with the found elven woman, but Emilia wasn't left alone for a long time, because Leliana quickly returned saying that both of them have to move to the forward camp.

\- Emilia, right? - Leliana spoke up during the way.

\- Yes. - answered Emilia.

\- Tell me, I see that you are trained in wielding a weapon, but do you have some other useful skills?

\- In current situation I think the abillity to use a sword is the most useful, but maybe later I will be able to help in a different way. We shall see.

\- I understand. The situation is very unstable, but you seem to be a resourceful woman. Young and inexperienced, but resourceful. Perhaps we will be able to take better advantage of your skills when we will regain control.

\- I am glad to hear that.


	5. Chapter 5 - Time of step changes

Leliana temporarliy assigned Emilia to the troops, who were fighting the demons in the vicinity to the Breach. There Emilia met commander Cullen, who was in charge of those units.

The battles were very hard and Emilia had to show her mettle to overcome the hardship. It took the rest of the day, but they finally managed to regain the control over the region. Emilia was exhaused and covered in bruises, however, she was feeling very proud and glad that she could take part in this operation. Eventually, the emotions won out over the pain and her heart was pounding for a long time after the battle had ended.

Later all troops moved to the Haven, where a base was located. Emilia went with the soldiers and after a few hours she was already lying calmly in her new bed with full stomach and smile on her face. That was a long day, but the next didn't suppose to be different. There was still so much work to do.

If Emilia could give a name to a day she would call the following one "the day of big decissions", because since that moment everything changed. The leadership with Cassandra ahead formed the Inquisition as the organisation, which aim was restoring order and finding those responsible for the present situation in Thedas.

Therefore, it was officialy propoused to Emilia and other volunteers to join their cause. She agreed without a second thought. To be true she was over the moon. This was afterall a purpose she was searching for her entire life. Still, there appeared some dark thoughts on the back of her head, but she didn't want to bother herself about them.

As the future showed out Emilia's resourcefulness wasn't forgotten. Thanks to it she could take part in expeditions and ventures made by the Inquisition. Emilia realised that she was an exception, because of her very young age comparing to the other companions. For this reason she was doing her best to repay for the given trust and to live up to the expectations.

Over time the Inquisition started to grow stronger, ties between companions and the alies outside were getting closer. It was too soon to say it loud, but in eveybody's head things became promising and aims more possible to achieve.

However, late attack on Haven was devastating. Facing the true enemy and the loss of everything they had achieved wiped out the hope of most. Perhaps saying hope of all wouldn't be an exaggeration. Additionally, they almost lost the woman with the mark on hand, who was suppose to save everybody from the terror of the Breach. It made the situation even worse.

A couple of hours later, when all members of the Inquisition sat in silence in a camp fighing with overwhelming sadness, they suddenly heard a song initiated by mother Giselle. Only it lifted a little everybody up and filled their hearts with hope. In fact just then the bonds indide the Inquisition were reinforced. Thanks to it, everyone was made aware that nobody were in this strugle alone, and that only together they could have a chance to oppouse the threat. Even such as Corypheus. Expectations of every being in Thedas hang over them. Everyone felt that load on their heart, however, in this case it gave them strengh to make everything what could be done to succeed. Without any half measures.

With this resolution and brisk pace the Inquisition took to the road. To Skyhold.


	6. Chapter 6 - Gaining self-confidence

The journey was long and demanding, but nobody had complained because the destination was about to bring a spark of hope for a better future. When the company finally reached the Skyhold, it went over any expectations. Emilia had never saw any building, which would envoke such strong feelings. It was like the walls were emanating with pure power. She was so shocked that she stopped unable to get enough of the impression of the fortress.

Right then Varrick approached and spoke up to her:

\- Chuckles topped himself, huh?

\- Chuckles...? - asked Emilia confused.

\- Our storyteller have nicknames to everyone... This one is Solas'. - dragged in Dorian.

\- Mhm. A little nasty, but it fits him. - reacted Emilia smiling.

\- That's what handles should be like, right? - replied Varrick grinning.

Emilia smiled in response and a few seconds later Dorian spoke up again:

\- I hope that the Skyhold inside is as much impressive as from the outside.

\- Don't jinx, Sparkles. However, I doubt it can be worse than what we left in Haven. - said Varrick again.

\- I agree. - added Emilia. - Shall we move on and take a closer look?

\- Good idea, come on Sparkles - replied Varrick.

\- I'm not sure if I should ask, but do you have a nickname for me too, Varrick? - asked Emilia.

\- I don't think you need one, youngster. - replied Varrick with a smirk.

\- I've never said I do, but I'm glad you think the same. - summed up Emilia.

\- Don't be under illusion that you will miss it - added Dorian. - He will give you a handle or he will write you up in his book, you can be sure.

\- No, it's not like that. - replied Varrick. - In my books I add to the characters a little... taste, colour.

\- Yes, and everybody just adore them.

Emilia laughed at it and still with a smile on her face she headed to the stronghold.

As everybody guessed it was very impressive inside as much as outside. Of course, it required some restoration, but it was able to take in the Inquisition's forces at once. It put everybody in a good mood and each person eagerly knuckled down forgetting about the long journey behind them.

Emilia helped in unpacking and finding fitting place for every unit. The castle was huge and nobody could complain about a lack of free space. She also found a small spot for herself. It was a room on the walls with a bed and a wardrobe already inside it. Next good thing about it was a lovable view streching behind the window. The mountains covered in snow and the wind making the snowflakes dance. Emilia could watch this performance of nature for hours without getting bored.

Next day, after she woke up she went down the stairs to the courtyard, slowly

heading to a kitchen for breakfast. In front of the tavern she found Cole feeding birds. When she aproached him, he stood up from crouch and took a close look at her.

\- Hi, Cole. - Emilia said with a smile.

\- Hello - he replied still looking at her thoughtfully.

Emilia frowned and asked:

\- Is everything alright? Why are you glaring at me?

\- There is an emptiness, loneliness inside you, but I can't hear any of your thoughts. - he replied. - Do you know why?

\- Ahm... perhaps because I accept those feelings. It has been a part of me for a long time and I have learned to live with it.

Cole lowered his head and frowned in thought.

\- You accept your pain? - he asked a moment later. - How? I don't understand.

\- Sometimes bad things happen to you to remind you something important or teach you... I can honestly say that my pain made me stronger. For me it's a good side of a bad experience, and that way of thinking makes me happier.

\- Hm, you seem to be a strong woman... but maybe still I could help...

\- It's not necessery, Cole. I am getting along. But I will keep that in mind.

He slightly smiled in answer and returned to feed the birds when she drifted away.

That conversation left Emilia with thoughts, which she needed to consider. It was like a push made by life. She realised that though she became stronger, she is still in one place and she have to move forward and evolve.

She decided to find something to do inside Skyhold. There was many possibilities, because help was needed everywhere. Though she decided to focus on those people, who needed attention at most. Emilia realised that she could work among refugees. She was always sensitive on suffering of others and now, when the war with Corypheus cost some people so much, she was glad that at least in the castle they would be able to find help. Regardlesd she didn't know how to start, she quickly noticed that even little things, small acts of kindness are cherished by them. Eventually, she felt that with this work she finally found an activity, which she was really good at, a reason that made her feel truly fulfilled. Additionaly, Emilia noticed that with this step she gained Sera's favourableness. The women had never acclaimed each other, but it seemed that a fight for something bigger than themselves reconciled them.

Thanks to Emilia's devotion to the hurt she was day after day gaining more self-confidence. Also the Inquisition was advancing and after some time it became an organisation with one of the highest positions in Thedas. The ball in orlaisian Winter Palace reflected it properly. Nevertheless it was the Inquisition's members, who attracted Emilia's attention the most. The diversity of people was enormous, but each of them was needed and from everyone she could learn something useful.

Unfortunately everything wasn't always easy. Working among people, though united against the same enemy, sometimes led to conflicts and sadly there was no way to avoid it. Emilia was doing her best to keep good relations with everybody, but it happened that someone didn't want to keep good relations with her.

Once during a travel across Crestwood with Vivienne, Solas and Iron Bull the Enchantress spoke up:

\- Emilia, darling, you are so young I wonder how do you find yourself in the Inquisition? It is facing the evil that threatens the whole Thedas after all.

\- It haven't been always easy, but with given time I'm getting along quite well. - she answered. - I found a place where I can benefit from my abilities and now, seeing the results of my work, I am more than satisfied.

\- I am glad to hear it, dear. You have heart of gold and I am worried if those refugees you wish to help do not want to trespass on your sensitivity.

\- They don't, and though I am empathetic it doesn't mean I lack the common sense to distinguish a raider from a person requiring help. You can be sure of it.

\- However, you do not hasitate to be of service to ones who does not deserve it. You are naive, dear, it will impair you.

Emilia frowned with anger.

\- You don't understand... I don't judge people, I don't care what they did or who they are.

\- Oh, sometimes you should judge others or you will lose control over them.

Emilia sighed inwardly.

\- They do not need to be controlled, they need to be helped. That's all they are looking for and all I am focusing on.

I know because of Corypheus they were forced to seek for help, otherwise they wouldn't have survive long. That is crutial for me and I decided to save as much lives as I can. With this done I will win my small war with Corypheus.

\- Well said. - Solas added suddenly.

\- You do not have to listen to me, darling, I am experienced enough to know how it will end. I have warned you, that is my final word.

Both Emilia and Vivienne silenced and they focused on a road before them like this conversation has never really mattered for any of them.

Such a discussions always did good for Emilia's morale. She realised surprising herself that she became confident enough to take part in an intelligent conversation and additionaly don't loose it. It confirmed her belief that she is doing the right thing and for this reason it became a driving force to keep her work continued and never give up. Since these days she felt that she was a rightful member of the Inquisition and she was able to stand against Corypheus as strong as her companions, regardless her age or lesser experience. In future days she observed that the Inquisition members also started to hold her in higher esteem, as if they noticed a change, which came in her. The change from a quiet, uncertain idealist to a matured woman always ready to sacrifice herself to a higher cause.


	7. Chapter 7 - Discovery

When Emilia's life situation stabilised she found more time and opportunities to observe how simple daily matters held up in Skyhold. Everything seemed to move in the right direction. There were constantly arriving more recruits to the Inquisition's armies, Leliana and Josephine were busy for a whole day and it was hard to even exchange news with them. Still, Emilia also noticed things that were more unexpected.

She was surprised that since some time Solas started to attend every Inquisitor's mission. It seemed that something was happening between him and the Inquisitor. Emila proved that when she accompanied them with Dorian during a quest, which resulted from Solas' personal request. When he lost a friend his quick, comforting conversation with the Inquisitor made everything clear. The fond looks and endearment couldn't be understood differently.

Emilia was happy for both of them. In such hard times everyone deserved love. Especially the elven woman, for she had the heaviest burden to carry.

As a result of this event Emilia unwittingly took a closer look at Solas. He had something interesting, different about him. She always came it down to his travels in the Fade, however, when she heard a few opinions from other companions about him, she wasn't so sure. She thought that there may be more to it.

"That man knows all there is to know about everything."

"His head's crammed up a thousand years ago."

Now, when she was analising them they didn't apperar as complately worthless words as they were at first.

"Maybe there is some true in it." thought Emilia.

A dozen of ideas churned in Emilia's head. "So much knowledge, some of which is very rare and stunning. I know he spends in the Fade as much time as he can, but still... Some of it is ancient, is it possible to find such old remains beyond the Veil?

And the thing with his age is strange. He says about himself like he was an old man, but he is not... Why he would do that? It doesn't make sense."

Emilia thought about Solas for yet a long time. Finally she came to the conclusion that her deduction doesn't lead anywhere and her assuming probably can be explained in an easy way, she just don't have enough information. Thus, she decided to put it off. At least for now.

For all that the fate, as if it wanted to help her, made her see that the Inquisitor in an unexplained way lost her vallaslins and in the same time she heard a conversation between Solas and Cole during one of many missions:

\- Ar lasa mala revas. - spoke up Cole. - You are so beautiful. But then you turned away. Why?

\- I had no choice. - answered Solas.

\- She is bare-faced, embarrassed, and she doesn't know. She thinks it's because of her.

\- You cannot heal this, Cole. Please, let it go.

\- Perhaps Cole can get a better answer from you than I did. - added the Inquisitor.

\- He hurts, an old pain from before, when everything sang the same. - continued Cole. - You're real, and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't. They sleep, masked in a mirror, hiding, hurting, and to wake them... Where did it go?

\- I apologize, Cole. - said Solas. - That is not a pain you can heal.

When they silenced Emilia was shocked. She didn't understand a half of what they said, but this what she did was enough. She had no idea that Solas left the Inquisitor.

"Why did he do that? I thought there was a strong feeling between them..." she thought. She didn't know why, but those questions niggled her to the end of a day.

When she finally got to her room at Skyhold, she had to sit down and unscramble eveything.

"He had to have a sirious reason to leave her. This is the only solution I see." she thought again. "But what could it be? What can force you to make such a radical move?"

And right then she remembered something, a part of the talk:

"He hurts, an old pain from before"

"An old pain? Something terrible had to happen if it hounds him for so long..." she continued her reflections.

Then suddenly next thought appeared in her head. It was something that Solas said some time ago, something that Emilia didn't understand back then:

"A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything."

She also remembered that the conversation sounded very serious and Solas was particulary grim at that moment.

"It has to mean something. Perhaps his pain is connected to his mistake. It is possible considering Cole feels that Solas still keeps that in mind. This is the reason Cole spoke about it. Yes." Emilia was getting further in her deliberation.

"Hmm, let's suppose that he accualy is very old. I know it can be absurd, but let's just check out where it leads... His statement about elven gods and the Arlathan. When I heard it I had a strange feeling that he said it like he was accually there, living among them...

Emila frowned because she didn't know what she should think about this.

"What was more surprising and what would confirm my theory is that he believes no god existed, just people... " she continued.

"If he really remembers the times of the ancient elven empire he... he had to be one of those perceived by other elves as gods, no other elf could be able to live that long... And only such a person could be able to remove a vallaslin, I know it! There is no other way!"

Emilia paused here, for she couldn't believe where she got to in her reflections. It was so astonishing that she had to make a few deep breaths to calm down.

"Alright, continuing..." she thought a minute later.

\- Pff, this will do me in. - she said laudly because she still couldn't gather her thoughts.

\- But I have to move forward. It is very important.

Emilia closed her eyes, made one more deep breath and afterwards she focused again:

"So which elven god could do a mistake? A big one, in fact. Any other wouldn't matter for a long time. Hmm, there were stories about this Dread Wolf... a... Fen'Harel. However, he betrayed other gods, I don't feel that this is an issue that can have a hold on you. The only truly bad thing that happened to the elves was the lost of their empire and immortality, if they were immortal in general. But is it possible that he has something to do with this event? No, no, he couldn't. He couldn't, right?

Emilia's heart was paunding terribly. Every peace of this puzzle fit together, but it was that unbelievable that she couldn't come to terms with it. It was too much for her.

\- Maybe I'm just crazy... maybe this is completly bullshit... with so little information about him I could have got to such an absurd conclusion... - she said laudly, clutching her head. Although her intuition spoke to her otherwise.

\- How can I know?

She silenced for a while, a then she said to herself with anxiety in her voice:

\- Solas... is the Dread Wolf...?

She pursed her lips and lifelessy leaned on a back of hair.

"It can't have such a strong control over me." she finally thought, after a couple of minutes. "I have to do something with it, it can't stay just like that. However, what shall I do? The Inquisitor should know about it, but I can't trouble her with a thing that can turn out to be something completly fanciful... I have to make sure at first."

The woman frowned wondering about a solution. After some time she was left with only a single option:

\- I need to speak with Solas. I have to remember that he is a good person and it would be unfair to deal with this situation behind his back. He deserves to solve this together with him.

She silenced and a couple of seconds later when she gathered her strenghs, she spoke up again:

\- Alright, so it is decided.

Emilia stood up, then left her room and headed to the place where Solas was staying. Unluckly, she didn't catch him in, therefore, she left him a note, asking him to meet with her as soon as he can, for the matter is urgent.

Afterwards she slowly walked away back to her quarters.

In the early evening when the stars started to appear at the dark sky Emilia heard a quiet pace and a knocking on the door.


	8. Chapter 8 - Determinations

Emilia opened quickly the door to her room and welcomed Solas.

\- Good evening. - replied Solas. - What is the important matter you wished to speak with me about?

She made a deep breath and said pointing one of chairs:

\- Please, sit down.

Then Emilia turn back to him and scratched her head. She knew that it will be hard, but know she had troubles with saying anything at all.

Earlier she came up with a little plan. She realised that she had to be very careful. Though it wasn't very probable for Solas to lie, she knew she can't give him any chance to avoid the truth. Thus, she thought that the most important will be his reaction to her first words. It will tell her everything. For this reason she decided that the first word had to be the hardest hit. She knew she won't get later any better chance than now.

Emilia turned around and fulfiling her plan she crushed out:

\- Fen'Harel... is you?

Solas' eyes popped out. It was clear that he was confused, although, Emilia had to admit it, he was covering it very well. He was struggling inwardly, but finally he spoke up:

\- May I know how did you find out?

\- Some of your words and then actions seemed to me... peculiar, strange. - she answered. - An old pain that nobody can heal? Elven gods being just people? And then you removing the vallaslin and leaving the Inquisitor? That was the last straw. I felt that it was too much to be just an ordinary situation. You wasn't ordinary.

\- I see you are a very good observer, I didn't realised that. My mistake.

Emilia lowered her head and made a deep breath.

\- So I was right... I... I can't belive it. - she spoke up again a few seconds later.

\- As any other person would not in your position. - said Solas. - The question is what will you do with... the truth.

Emilia didn't answered right away.

\- What would you wish me to do? - she said finally.

When Solas was staying quiet for a longer time Emilia said again:

\- I think the Inquisitor is the most important here, she deserves to know.

\- I agree, though I was not able to tell her about this. - he said with a quiet voice.

\- Oh, I see...

\- I should not ask you for it, however, I have to. Will you let me to handle it myself?

Emilia frowned and a moment later she asked him:

\- What do you mean by that? I can't just stand and watch when the Inquisitor is in pain knowing I can do something with it.

\- I understand, what I can promise is she will find out, but in a proper time.

\- So, when it will happen?

\- Once Corypheus is defeated.

\- I hold your word, however, if something unexpected will happen and you won't be there to tell her everything, I will.

Solas lowered his head as if he knew that it is the fair option, but still he couldn't say yes to it.

\- You have a good heart, and unshaken morals. The Inquisition will have a great use of you. - he said a moment later with his head still low. - Although, even if I wish you do this, I cannot agree... It will lead the Inquisitor only to further questions and I know she would try to meet with me. You must understand, I am the one who need to tell her the truth, because just then I will be able to explain everything.

Emilia bit her lip and crawled into her shell. Then she look into Solas' eye and said:

\- I realise it is very serious thing and you deserve to deal with it by yourself. I trust you, but don't ask me ever again to do anything like this.

Solas nodded in understanding and slightly smiling he replied:

\- I appreciate your effort. Thank you.

With these words he left the room and Emilia stayed alone with a burden on her heart no lighter than it was at the beginning of the evening.


	9. Chapter 9 - Difficulties

Regrettably, Emilia's worries became truth. Suddenly, when Corypheus was defeated, Solas disappeared. Nobody was able to find any information about him and because of that Emilia got a big problem. She was so frustrated that sometimes she just had to stay in her room and hold back her tears. Still, she had never wanted to give up. She shut all tempting thoughts out, because she was a kind of person, for whom breaking a given word would be a self-betreyal. It was one of the hardest times in her life, however, she was facing it out.

After a few months the woman learned how to live with that burden and since then she again was able to focus fully on the most important matters.

When the Inquisition's misson ended she returned to her home's town, Denerim. Emilia met with her long-lost parents and seeing that they are having alright after the fights with Venatori, she mended fences with them. Together they also properly paid the last respects to Caleb.

Later Emilia decided to stay in the town for some time. Experiences taken from the Inquisition helped her in dealing with her familiy's business, but in consonance with her nature she felt a need to organise aid to anyone suffered by the war.

She was so happy taking a moment of breath and recalling memories from last couple of years. It was so unbelivable how she and her life changed over this time. Nevertheless, she found comfort in seeing how everything is heading in the right direction. Things were getting better, it was clear. Even if it wasn't up to last long, it was good to find peace at least for a short time.

However, the Inquisition didn't let her to forget about it. Two years after defeating Corypheus was about to be held the Exalted Council in Orlais. Emilia couldn't miss the chance to meet with her old companions. She missed them so much.

As if the situation wasn't hard enough, right when everybody appeared in Winter Palace, gaatlok barrel was found and the Inquisition again, like during the old times had to knuckle down.

The trouble was unusual from the beginning. Firstly, it had to be dealt with quietly, for good of the Exalted Council, and secondly, what was the most unexpected, the threads lead the Inquisitor to a Eluvian held in the Palace.

"Qunari using Eluvians? It can't be a coincidence." thought Emilia.

Then it was found out that the Qunari were using them as the transport in search for some 'agent of Fen'Harel'.

"Oh!" Emilia thought opening her eyes wider. "Agent of Fen'Harel!? Solas... He is back..."

That information brought everything back to her. Now, she was forced to face her past and again remain silent. More than ever. Luckly for her, she wasn't very talkative person and nobody actually noticed her silence. Additionaly, this situation surprised and confused everyone, so being quiet became the trait of all Inquisition's members.

Though Emilia knew Solas' secret, hearing about details from his life and seeing all the majestic paintings depicting him was extraordinary for her. In this case her shocked face was as much true as the others.

During their way they saw Qunari warriors turned into a stone. First look on them was enough for Emilia to know that it was Solas' doing. His, not his agent's. Nobody else could do that. Going further and further made her feel that they are getting closer to him.

"Finally the Inquisitor will find out about everything and finally I will be able to loose this burden from my heart." she cheered inside.

Unfortunately, at the end of their journey Emilia wasn't able to meet with Solas, even though she wanted it very much.

"At least everything will be clarified, this is the most important." she thought.

Nevertheless, this story didn't end up like Emilia wished. One burden was replaced by another, because Solas was planning to restore the world of elves, meaning the present world's death.

"What...?!" Emilia shouted inside. "I guess I will never be able to understand him. He is the Dread Wolf after all..." she thought and laughed grimly inside.

The Inquisitor's situation was even harder. Half of her arm, which she was left with, had to keep remainding her of the doom above the world and, what was more depressing, of the tragic love, which she carried in her heart. She would do everything for her relationship with Solas to last. Emilia knew it. She saw it in the woman's eyes. Luckly the Inquisitor was strong and her pain became her driving force since then.

Emilia didn't plan to give up either. She knew if she wants to do something meaningful, she needs information, as much as she can get. Thusly, she decided to meet with the Inquisior in private.

\- Good evening. - said Emilia to the former Inquisitor after she knocked twice to the door.

\- Good evening, Emilia. - replied the elven woman. - What brings you here?

\- I... came here to speak about Solas.

\- Mmm, alright, come in.

\- I have some ideas, which we could use to convince him, but I need more information.

\- I see. What did you come up with?

\- Nothing certain yet, but I was thinking about one door that he left open. I mean faith, and the Makers will.

The Inquisitor frowned in thought. A minute later she said:

\- It may not be a bad idea, but the main problem is how you want to let him know about it, he is out our reach...

\- Perhaps I could write a letter to him and then we could hand it to any elf we will find, most of them are going to meet with him, right?

\- If we are assuming properly, yes... Alright, we can try to do this, we don't have more chances to act for now after all. Let me know when you finish writing, I would like to see it first.

\- Of course, I will bring the letter to you at once when it will be ready.

\- Good. So, now, please sit down, I have much to tell you.

\- I'm all ears.

When the Inquisitor told Emilia everything she remembered about meeting with Solas, the second woman thanked her and immediately returned to her room on the walls to begin her work. Then it was the most important thing for her, for this reason she sacrificed all her time and strenghs for this matter.

After a week of brainstorm and intense work Emilia finally could take a breath. The letter was ready. This is how it looked like before sending:


	10. Chapter 10-Very valuable piece of paper

Dear Solas,

At the beginning I want to tell you that I understand you. I really do. As earlier you had wished to save the elven people, now you wish to restore their world. I know that you are a good person, always thinking about others. You are not a distroyer of worlds, Solas, and you don't have to become one.

I would like you to remember that if something goes wrong, if your plan does not work, we will not loose just this world and a chance to see the elven one restored, we will loose YOU. And then there will be no future for anybody. You are the one, who can do as much good as evil... You have already done so much for this land and you could do more. With your help we could be able to make it great, different than the Arlathan, but still beautiful and valuable.

It may be not true, but I think that I know the answer for your question. You keep repeating yourself why the tragedy of your people happened, if all that you wanted was their safety and freedom. This fact made you so fatalistic, am I right? You said once that the Evanuris were not gods, however, you, Solas, behaved like one. It was not up to you to send them on eternal punishment. Such matters should be left to the Maker. Nevertheless, He noticed that you had good intentions, and you gained a reward. A grand one, because what can be a greater gift than love? Thus, I beg you, do not repeat the same mistake! Do not throw away the treasure you possess!

I apologise, if you find these words cruel and they hurt you. Please, forgive me because I only wanted you to understand what I think about your decission and perhaps also let you see it from another angle.

I said once that I trust you. Nothing changed in that matter. I hope your final decission will be right.

With care,

Emilia and the Inquisition


	11. Epilogue - Reunion

Emilia opened the door to enter her room with plans to go sleeping, but she realised that she may be not able to close her eyes tonight because, as it was happening often lately, her pulse was rapid and she had tones of thoughts to deal with. The woman made a few steps forward, lit a lamp and then she heard something. Very quiet rustle outside, but she didn't make it to turn around because right then a male voice sounded:

\- Emilia - he said. Just it, but for her it was enough. She knew exactly who was standing behind her.

\- Solas - she replied.

Afterwards she faced him and he approached her. Emilia had never seen him in so exquisite outfit, although she almost straightaway associated it with clothes worn by elves in the Temple of Mythal. But not only his outfit looked different. There was something strange in his facial expression that Emilia couldn't get a fix on. However, primarily she was scraching her head over the reason he arrived.

\- My visit is a response to your letter. - he said, as he was reading in her mind.

\- Come in - she replied warmly.

When Emilia closed the door behind Solas, he went deeper inside the room, so he was barely visible. She noticing that he was standing quietly with his back turned to her, decided to spoke up:

\- Wouldn't you prefer to meet with all of us instead just with me? You know that I will run everything by them.

At first Solas didn't answer, Emilia barely noticed that he clenched his fists as he was struggling with something. Then he suddenly replied:

\- No, you will not.

\- What? - she asked surprised, knitting her eyebrows. - Why?

\- Because I don't have an answer for you. - he said turning his face to her. - I came here because you deserve a response, but... I am at a loss for words.

Solas sighed and Emilia saw a great pain in his eyes.

\- Your letter staggered me - he countinued with quiet voice, lowering his head - I always knew you will be usefull to the Inquisition and, banefully for me, I was right.

Solas silenced and Emilia couldn't make any move or utter any word.

\- I can't destroy this world and I can't let the world of the elves be gone forever... - Solas spoke up again. - Through thousands years of my life I have never been so... torn. Ehh!

Emilia was so angry at herself that she couldn't say anything or do something else to ease his pain. All she could do was closing to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

\- You have always been my friend, Emilia. You have never let me down, though I demanded so much from you. - Solas said looking into her eye. - I did not deserve it.

He said lowering his head again and closing his eyes.

\- Solas - Emilia took quietly the subject up with shaking voice. - In this situation, there is no easy solution. You have been through a lot of hardship and I have no intention to cause you more. But still, there is somebody who has always been there for you, who inspires hope in you, who have always knew you the best. I think that you also know where your answers are... In her eyes. Because those are your vhenan's eyes.

When she was saying this tears sprung to his eyes. Emilia noticing it added:

\- She has never given up on you. Go to her.

\- You are right. - he replied with shaking voice.

He silenced for a moment and then he continued:

\- If there was any way to repay you I would do it... a hundred times... I wish you all the best, my friend.

With these words he kissed her on the forehead and left the room. After that she burst into tears never being so happy in her lifetime.


End file.
